Sunday, June 17, 2012

Rain water

Now it is raining all the time here. Grey damp air clings to the trees and houses day after day. Greyness somehow makes the world seem confined. Everything shrinks and loses colours.

I step outside to find out how chilly and unwelcoming it is. Wet wind makes me shudder. Raindrops reach my face and linger on my skin. They roll down as if they were tears running out of my eyes. Eventually they touch my lips and give the idea of rain water taste. Unsalty. Unlike tears. Raindrops just can pretend to be tears. It is as if I was crying for you, but with raindrops instead of real tears.

Fake tears are all what is left. I won't cry. I have found my comfort and steadiness in the constant motion. I hold my feet tight on the ground and my grip over my destiny. Even nasty ever-lasting rain is powerless to bring down the determination.

Despite the long-desired balance I realize how much I miss you. I discover this fact standing beneath the grey sky falling down. I miss you, but I don't need you. I repeat “I-don’t-need-you” enchantment countless times, hoping it will eventually sound like truth.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

The Silence

Silence slithers into life freezing blood still and causing the desire to scream in angst. Scream! Yell, try to muffle the quietness. Scream until you are exhausted of the noise you make. The silence remains unlifted. The silence just exhales cold air and keeps its grip steel.

Accept all the agony and frantic fever the silence brings. The agony stabs right into the heart cutting it open. Emotions blended with blood will pour out of the wound and flood the surroundings with red, brining torturing images of you own past full of disillusionment and present full of painful search for the self.

As the flow of emotions slows down and soothes it is the moment to fall quite. Cease all the feverish screams and embrace the silence. Let the silence inside and listen. You will hear a distinct voice of "I" speaking out of the core of the conscience Its words are clear as the silence is undisturbed. The understanding of your own self is possible as never before. And you can see your reflection clear now in the stillness of the conscience.