Now it is
raining all the time here. Grey damp air clings to the trees and houses day
after day. Greyness somehow makes the world seem confined. Everything shrinks
and loses colours.
I step
outside to find out how chilly and unwelcoming it is. Wet wind makes me
shudder. Raindrops reach my face and linger on my skin. They roll down as if
they were tears running out of my eyes. Eventually they touch my lips and give the
idea of rain water taste. Unsalty. Unlike tears. Raindrops just can pretend to
be tears. It is as if I was crying for you, but with raindrops instead of real
tears.
Fake tears
are all what is left. I won't cry. I have found my comfort and steadiness in
the constant motion. I hold my feet tight on the ground and my grip over my destiny.
Even nasty ever-lasting rain is powerless to bring down the determination.
Despite
the long-desired balance I realize how much I miss you. I discover this fact
standing beneath the grey sky falling down. I miss you, but I don't need you. I
repeat “I-don’t-need-you” enchantment countless times, hoping it will
eventually sound like truth.